I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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