We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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