Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I haven't been this sober since birth.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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