Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
