i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
