he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
