Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
