You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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