Pappa wants mamma naked
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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