My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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