around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
