we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize