i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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