I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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