THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
