hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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