Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
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