You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
