I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
