I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
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He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
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Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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