I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
