We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
