Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
