Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
His nipple licking is glorious
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