He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize