I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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