How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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