I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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