His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
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