if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
i think i just naturally attract stoners
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
