I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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