I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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