I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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