Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
