i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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