Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
