I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
