he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize