Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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