he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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