Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Randomize
