We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
