Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
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I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
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It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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