chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
