Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
