How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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