Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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