are you still at the devil's house?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
