That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
