No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
