Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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