wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
