We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
