The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
i out mim tonsoeep
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