his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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