just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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