is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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