and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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