I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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