My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
