wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
And then my night got REAL pukey
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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