Duck Duck Cougar?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Randomize
