life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I'm having to shit out rocks
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
