My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
