i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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