I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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