Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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