I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
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Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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