He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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