super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
