yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
